Beans and Toast

Well it appears to be entirely trendy at the moment to dust off that aged Julia Child cookbook that you inherited when your weird uncle died and give the old bird’s recipe for beef stew a whirl. It is a long drawn out process, but it is good, really good.  Pretty much the best stew I’ve ever had, so almost worth the effort. Be aware that you will have to eat it by dipping your hands directly into the piping hot stew and slurping it from your palms. This is because this recipe demands the use of every tool you have in your kitchen

(An adapted, simplified and more Italian version of the recipe from The French Chef Cookbook)

Serves 4

Part 1

The Beoueoeef Part

• 6 ounces of diced pancetta
• Olive Oil
• 2lb Outside Round Beef Roast, cubed into 1 1/2 inch cubes
• 2 cups of full bodied red wine (recommend my own home made Amarone)
• 1 cup beef broth
• 1 tbsp tomato paste
• 2 cloves smashed garlic
• 1/2 tsp thyme
• 1 bay leaf
• salt

Preheat your oven to 325°F

Heat up a large skillet to medium high heat with a tbsp or so of olive oil, and chuck in the pancetta and brown considerably.  I’ve never before heard of cooking bacon with oil in the pan but this lady lived to 148 so I went for it.  When brown, yank the pork and set aside.

Pat the beef dry with a bit of paper towel, and brown the beef in batches in that olivey pork fat.  Leave the cubes uncrowded, and don’t touch them all that much, get em real real brown.  When those are done set aside, and drain as much fat as you can without losing the small brown bits you’ve created.

Add the wine (light it on fire to impress your friends), and scrape the bottom of the skillet to pull up all the brown stuff stuck to the bottom.  For real.  Add the pork and beef back into the wine, and enough beef stock to almost cover the beef.  Stir in everything else above and throw that in the oven.  You will be leaving this here for 2 1/2 to 3 hours.  In the mean time, make the rest of this dish, you have just enough time.

Part 2

The Onion Mushroom Part

• 1 lb of Portabello mushrooms, dark underbelly scraped out and cut into 1/2 inch cubes
• 1 large carrot diced
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• 1 1/2 tbsp butter
• salt
• 18 of those small onions
• 1 tbsp butter
• salt
• water

Heat the oil and butter in a skillet on high heat until the butter is good and frothy.  Add the carrot.  Saute for 1 or 2 minutes and add the mushrooms, and continue for 3 or 4 more.  Remove from the heat and sprinkle with a few pinches of salt.

Hopefully you still have 1 more pot, cause you’re going to need to boil some water and drop them wee onions in there.  Keep the pot on high heat and let the water come back to a boil for another 30 seconds or so.  Drain.  Peel the onions with a bit of care.  If you cut them up too much they’ll spit out their middles later on.  Julia mentioned something about cutting an X deep into the root of the onion to prevent that from happening, but I was getting pretty tired and hungry so I didn’t.  Only 1 or 2 did this, so I think she’s just being a bit anal.  Put them wee onions into a heavy saucepan with butter and enough water to come up to the wee onions waists.  Cover and simmer on low heat for 20-30 minutes.

No, you’re not done yet

Part 3

The Sauce part

• 3 tbsp butter
• 3 tbsp all purpose flour

Cream the above ingredients together, set aside.

Take the beef out of the oven.  You’ll know it’s ready when you are so hungry that you simply can’t wait another moment.  Skim off any fat that has risen to the top, if you have that kind of time or energy. Put it back on the stove at medium low heat to simmer.  Add several spoons of the beef liquid to the butter flour mixture and blend.  Add to the beef and stir well.  Add the mushrooms carrots and onions to the beef and cover.  Simmer for another 5 minutes.  Tell your family to shut up dinner is almost ready but you will accept not another word from their whining mouths.

Give it a taste and add salt and pepper to taste.

Remove from heat and allow family to eat with their bare hands as you have used all the dishes you own making it.  Wash dishes the next day, you won’t have energy for it tonight.